This Should End Well – KISS Declares War on Anonymous
If you have no idea what any of that meant, you may be one of the lucky delicate internet virgins that haven’t heard of Anonymous. They are a loosely-knit group of hackers and internet mischief-makers that frequent one of the last bastions of anarchy and true anonymity on the internet, 4chan. Between swapping child porn and creating internet memes they put on their tights and fight injustice on the web.
Anonymous has been in the spotlight for waging a war on the Church of Scientology that’s been going on for years now, but they have taken up other causes, some of them worthy, others simply in a pursuit of their deranged brand of fun. You know, “lolz”.
Well, their latest target have been sites of organizations pushing for harder file-sharing laws, most notably the RIAA, the Australian Federation Against Copyright Theft, the British Phonographic Industry and AiPlex, an Indian software firm retained by the MPAA to perform DDoS attacks against sites they couldn’t bring down legally, such as the Pirate Bay.
Also on the hit list was the front man of KISS, and if you’re wondering why, here’s a hint:
Make sure your brand is protected, be litigious, sue anybody – take their homes, their cars, Don’t let anybody cross that line.
Now, that coming from the leader of the band that essentially introduced merchandising into rock n’ roll isn’t much of a surprise. Anonymous however, tends to take this stuff personally and Gene, or rather two of his websites, GeneSimmons.com and SimmonsRecords.com, wound up on their hit list and suffered extensive downtime over a few days as part of the attack that Anonymous called “Operation Payback”.
This is already starting to sound like a setup for something out of bad speculative fiction or Deadliest Warrior – you know, what if Genghis Khan faught a swarm of killer bees or some such. But it didn’t end there, oh no.
Yesterday, in a statement published on the KISS FAQ board (since GeneSimmons.com is STILL dead as a dodo as of this writing), Gene writes:
Some of you may have heard a few popcorn farts re: our sites being threatened by hackers.
Our legal team and the FBI have been on the case and we have found a few, shall we say “adventurous” young people, who feel they are above the law.
Like I said at the beginning, Anonymous done goofed! Simmons has, apparently back-traced them! But that’s not all…
Second, they might find their little butts in jail, right next to someone who’s been there for years and is looking for a new girl friend.
We will soon be printing their names and pictures.
Knowing Anonymous, I think it’s safe to say they will be dick pictures.
We will find you.
You cannot hide.
Well, good luck with that Gene, let us know how it works out.
(btw – what the hell are “popcorn farts”? If you have any idea let us know in the comments)