F*ck Me Blue: Avatar Porn is on the Way

A few months ago rumors first hit the web that Hustler had an Avatar-themed “parody” XXX film in the works. A few days ago the first promotional images came out.

I would love to be able to write about how shocked and appalled I am that there is, presumably, a market out there for movies featuring 8 foot tall blue cat-orc-fox-human… THINGS bumping uglies, and that there are enough people prepared to pay actual money to skin their salami to such things.

But you know what? I can’t. In the years on the internet, things have been seen that can’t be unseen. Rule 34 of the Internet says (among other things) that which ever cartoon, kids show or toy you pick out, regardless of how gentle and innocent – there is a pornographic version of it out there. Go ahead, try it if you dare. Care Bears? Check. Transformers? Check. The Simpsons? Check. Harry Potter, Spunge Bob, Pokemon, Star Wars, Thundercats, ET? Check, check, check, check, check and CHECK. I really don’t want to go searching, but smart money says there’s probably Neverending Story porn available out there as well.

So considering all that, I’m sad to say that when I read the news of the upcoming Avatar sausage-fest, the most surprising thing was… that they’re doing it in 3d.

Doing it. Har. Har. In 3d.

Anyway. 3d TV sets are apparently coming out in Japan already and people are expecting them to succeed based mostly on the fact that the porn industry over there is backing the format and already releasing movies in 3d in Japan. Hustler’s Avatar will the first American movie geared towards the technology, and we know that if the porn industry backs a format it’s almost a given that it will succeed (see: VHS, BluRay). So I guess… get ready for 3d TVs, everyone? (yay) So we can watch blue forest things hump? (boo)

Ok, so between this and the Vagina Bubbles From Hell video I posted earlier this evening you could say it’s been a pretty weird day. I promise more soothe-the-mind and less rape-my-soul sort of content tomorrow. But before that, here’s another picture, just because I’m a mean bastard:

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