Long gone are the innocent times when the only displays of customizable car douchebaggery were vanity plates,  kitschy  flame stickers and rear end spoilers.

Today the creative ways you can make your car look stupid (or awesome, depending on how you look at it) are countless and limited only by your imagination. If it’s silly and can be attached to a car – you can probably buy it somewhere.

The Carstache

The company behind this little item,  Carstache, describes itself as “the global leader in Automotive Facial Hair” and invites car drivers to channel the power of Hulk Hogan, Tom Selleck  and all the other stache rocking, macho celebrities by, you’ve guessed it,  sticking  fluffy, colorful mustaches on the front of their cars.

Their description of the Carstache is even more amusing:

Your first Carstache feels like your first kiss, cold beer, snow cone, and slow dance. It’s glorious! It just feels good. It feels powerful. Your car has been naked until now. So strap a ‘stache, buckle up, and enjoy the ride!”

You can macho-up your car for a measly $39.00.

Car Lashes

For anyone that wants to tell the world they are brimming with estrogen we have CarLashes. The company describes the product as a way to ”Dress up your headlights with a touch of fashion and a twinkle of crystal!”

They go on:

Carlashes™ eyelashes and crystal eyeliner are the newest hot products for your car. The trademark Carlashes™ is a new automotive aftermarket brand created to allow cars to be personalized with a feminine touch.

Somewhere in the world Paris Hilton is ordering three dozen boxes of these.

Car Lights

And for the resident douchebag we have the UnderCar LED Lighting Kit

“Your ride will look streets ahead when you have them on lighting up the road beneath you”

While some might argue that this is a safety-enhancing accessory, we somehow have the feeling people won’t be buying this to make night rides go more smoothly.

Fake Bullet Holes

What better way to show the world  how gangsta you are then by pasting fake bullet hole stickers on your Mini Cooper. Now, even if you say these are a great way to prank people, the argument is invalid for two reasons

a. Everybody can see it’s a sticker.

b.  You live in a safe suburb and have only seen bullets on TV. And even those are fake.

This accessory, while not by any means new, is so mind-numbingly lame that it deserves a eternal spot on any ”stupid accessories” list  for years to come.

Fake Baseball

A close relative of the above mentioned fake bullet, this accessory does nothing but provoke a deep desire to throw actual baseballs at the windshield of the unfortunate car.

It might have been funny 5 years ago, but somehow it has managed to lose it’s flair.

Go figure…

Spinning Rims

We can’t in all honesty find any reason why someone would want to put these on their vehicle  unless their hobby was running over people (after they’ve hypnotized them with their spinning rims of hell).

There’s no accounting for taste. You either have it, or you don’t.