49 Things To Do With Bacon

Ah bacon, is there anything you can’t do? You feed us, you nurture and shelter us. You give us inspiration in the most dire of times.

Sure, you have a dark side, just like everyone. You’ve flamed religious wars and caused more heart attacks than boobs. But we forgive you.

We love you not just for your taste, but for your incredible versatility.

Here’s just a small rundown of the things that bacon can be used for:

Food

Impressive feats of bacon: Bacon Chicken Narwhal, Bacon House, Hot Dogs stuffed with Cheez Whiz and wrapped in bacon, Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger and The Bacon Explosion.

Bacon sweets: bacon cupcakes, bacon chocolate chip cookies with maple glaze, bacon ice cream, home made bacon caramel, Beer Cheese and Bacon cupcakes and assorted fancy chocolates with bacon embedded in it.

For the health-conscious: Strawberry-Bacon Spinach salad, Creamed Spinach with Bacon

Snacks and condiments: Bacon cheese and Baconnaise.

Bacon cups. What you fill them with is only limited only by your imagination. Why not try bacon?

Beverages

For the bacon-loving boozers: Bacon-infused BourbonBacon Martini and Bacon-flavored vodka.

For the people who need more of a pick-me-up effect, as opposed to a make-me-jolly effect, there’s the Bacon Latte or the home made alternative.

If those just don’t pack enough calories to get through the day, you can always try getting a Bacon Oreo Blizzard at Dairy Queen.

Clothing and Accessories

Best Christmas card ever – the Bacon bra. And apparently Katy Perry may take this a step further, from news.com.au: “For my next album I’d like it to be about meat and I want to be on the cover wearing a bacon bikini. Also I want my records to smell of sausage or pork. CDs are over, but not if they smell original”. Of course, these girls beat her to it.

Bacon dress. Well you can’t go out in just your bacon bra, can you?

Then there’s the now renowned Bacon Hitler. The real irony is, of course, that Adolf was a vegetarian.

Hats made of meat. Among them, naturally bacon hats.

Arts and Crafts

Bacon AK47. I have to say I have a problem with this one. Dude, make bacon, not war.

Bacon man. No, he doesn’t have superpowers, unless you count tastiness as one. And why? Who the hell knows. Just enjoy it for what it is.

Business cards made from meat. Jerky rather than bacon, but close enough, and way too cool not to include.

Bacon lampshade.

Carl Warner is an artist who creates entire landscapes from food. His meat period is lovely.

Imitation Bacon

Bacon flavored lip balm. Alas, it includes no actual bacon, but supposedly tastes like it.

Bacon inspired tuxedo and accessories: bacon wallet, bacon watch, bacon shoes and bacon scarf. None of it real bacon, unfortunately.

Bacon band-aidsbacon floss and bacon soap.

Bacon flavored envelopes. Make mail tasty again!

Other things

Bacon powered thermal lance. I’ll just quote the author:

Bacon is fattening because it contains a lot of chemical energy tied up in its proteins, and especially in its fat. You can release that energy either by digesting it or by burning it with a healthy supply of oxygen. The challenge isn’t creating the heat; it’s engineering a bacon structure strong enough to withstand the stress of a 5,000°F bacon plasma flame.

The awesome. It hurts.

Tactical canned bacon stays good for 10 years.

Bacon arm. I think this is how Terminator started out.

Things we still need someone to make

Bacon flavored condoms. Seriously? These doesn’t exist yet? Is there any reason girls (and gay dudes) shouldn’t have the option of having the meat they’re sucking on taste like MEAT?

Bacon action figures. “Don’t play with your food” would go to a whole new level.

Bacon made of Bacon. Kevin Bacon, that is. That would be bacon squared, basically. We just have to get to him and cure his ass in time before he gets too old and rubbery. Yum.

And lastly

an easily understandable visual guide to making bacon:

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