We’ve all been there. What do you get for that special someone who has everything, or is simply hard to impress. Sure you can get them a tie or perfume, but it’ll just get thrown onto the “meh” pile. To give you a hand, The Daily Sloth has picked out 18 presents that are sure to leave a lasting impression.

Be advised that this post contains some images that may be considered Not Safe For Work. No nudity per se, but stuff you really don’t want to try to explain to your boss or your mom.

1) Vulva Pendants

Wear your clit with pride!
Get it here

2) Tom Selleck Sperm Plush Rattle

You have to admit the resemblance is uncanny.
Get it here

3) The Boob Scarf

Unisex, but if you’re a woman that means you’ll have SIX!
Get it here

4) The Crawling Penis

I… don’t know.
Get it here

5) Zombie Rabbit Jr.

Perfect for that big Bugs Bunny and Rob Zombie Fan.
Get it here

6) Black Lung Necklace

For that special smoker in your life.
Get it here

7) “Lethal Christ”

Yes, it’s exactly what it looks like.
Get it here

Nipple Clogs

PIERCED nipple clogs! Yes!
Get it here

9) Whispering Orphan, Knottingly

No… idea…
Get it here

10) Patriotic Disembodied Barbie Head Pendant

It’s like that time when Hannibal Lecter judged the Miss USA contest.
Get it here

11) “Implants” Mosaic

What’s your cup size?
Get it here

12) Penis-shaped cat toy

Your pussy will love it.
Get it here

13) Dog Crucifix Halloween Decoration

He looks sad.
Get it here

14) Eyeball cuff

Straight out of Conan.
Get it here

15) Cooking Apron w/ Cock attached

Cooking with Cock. Yes!
Get it here

16) Mouse Jawbone Pendant

Who doesn’t love dead mouse parts?
Get it here

17) The Wine Rack

Drink your flat-chestedness away.
Get it here

18) Deer-shot-with-arrows Hat

For that Bambi fan you have a crush on.
Get it here